If you think Max Verstappen’s language in the cockpit is ripe, you should hear some of the things said in my rough trade as deadline approaches, or the signal back to London has gone down as you are about to press send on 1,200 words required pronto.
OK, those expletives reach a smaller audience. But it would still be inexcusable hypocrisy of a journalist to condemn Verstappen too harshly for his blaspheming under engine-roasted pressure at 210mph.
This brings us to Mohammed Ben Sulayem, the FIA president, who is calling for a clear-up of the airwaves.
His watershed call is for Formula One Management, the sport’s owners who control what is aired, to limit the broadcast of the X-rated outbursts, as well as urging drivers to wash out their own mouths.
He has a point. Swearing has become a lingua franca of F1 radio exchanges in a way it never quite was, and some restraint mightn’t go amiss. However, my strong preponderance of view is that drivers should be allowed to go about their business as they see fit.
Max Verstappen has received criticism recently for his X-rated language used over the radio
Swearing has become a lingua franca of F1 radio exchanges in a way it never quite was
Mohammed Ben Sulayem, the FIA president, has called for expletives not to be used
If TV and radio people eavesdrop, so be it. Not that they are objecting to the fare. The more swearing, the better their ratings.
Verstappen, clearly irked by being publicly judged for private exchanges, spoke as a Dutchman who calls a spade a spade, arguing: ‘In other sports you don’t run around with a mic attached – people say bad things when they are full of adrenaline, but it just doesn’t get picked up.
‘I couldn’t even say the f-word now. I mean, it’s not even that bad, right?
‘The car was not working in Azerbaijan last weekend. I said it was f’ed. Yeah. What are we? Five-year-olds? Six-year-olds?’
He further argued that even if children didn’t hear the naughty words from his mouth, they would learn them at some stage of their lives regardless. It was a strong point of logic, the world champion’s way of saying Foxtrot Oscar.
Verstappen pointed to other sports in his defence, arguing that they don’t use microphones but still swear
Conquering the jet lag
Coming into Singapore on a charter flight from Azerbaijan early this week, alarming words over the PA: ‘Cabin crew, please take your seats.’
You know there and then, at 37,000ft, that you’ll be lucky to survive the turbulence without spilling your gin and tonic.
Gallows humour aside, the sense of buckle-up fast has understandably sharpened since the death of a 73-year-old Briton in May in a severe case of the bumps on a Singapore Airlines plane at about the same spot as our little local difficulty.
Having landed, the trick here is to stay up until 5am to remain on something approaching BST. It being a night race, this is the best way of tackling the time difference, and you needn’t feel a slob for rising at 1pm.
Then it’s lunch at 6-7pm and dinner at 1am.
Before then, you hope ceiling-to-floor curtains, soundproof walls and the do-not-disturb sign guard your slumbers. The drivers and teams are on similar schedules.
I remember the small hours in the build-up to the inaugural Singapore spectacle. I spent them close to a certain engineer sitting on a stool at the end of the lobby bar in the Novotel, Clarke Quay.
What was going through his mind, I didn’t think at the time.
The next day Pat Symonds, for it was he, oversaw the distortion of the 2008 race as one of his Renault drivers, Nelson Piquet Jnr, crashed to let his other one, Fernando Alonso, capitalise on the safety car the former’s accident had brought out.
I’ll never forget Pat sipping his lager.
One thing missing
An artist without his drawing board is like a driver without an Instagram account. Which brings us to Adrian Newey, and an oversight in his £100million five-year deal to join Aston Martin next season.
I am told his drawing board belongs to Red Bull rather than the big-brained boffin himself. Christian Horner paid Ron Dennis to buy it when Newey last jumped ship.
Now Horner might pocket a profit if Lawrence Stroll is prepared to dig deep to provide his man with the tools he needs.
Adrian Newey’s drawing board belongs to Red Bull, meaning a fee may be needed to retrieve it
Aston Martin boss Lawrence Stroll (right) may need to dig deep to give Newey tools to succeed
The price not right
Adrian Newey’s pay demands to Ferrari? £75.3million, I can reveal.
You can see why negotiations were black flagged.
Trouble in paradise
Red Bull’s decline is mirrored in their pit-stop record. In the opening eight races of the season they were markedly and consistently quickest. Their best stop, in China, was 2.033sec.
But since Monaco, 2.1sec, the alacrity of the boys who won the DHL Fastest Pit Stop Award for the past six years, has sea-sawed. The last three rounds were on the down swing: Holland 3.443sec; Italy 3.443sec and Azerbaijan 2.877sec.
Red Bull’s usually crack team still boast the best overall record, mind. But will this be another lead they let slip?
Red Bull’s decline has been mirrored in their pit-stop record – their average times are slipping
Diddy’s detention
Filed under ‘this didn’t age well’, this tweet from Lewis Hamilton almost exactly six years ago: ‘I grew up watching and listening to my man Puff. To stand here today as brothers is an honour and a privilege.
‘I appreciate you bro for all you do, for being a GOAT and for always showing love. God bless.’
Several slavering hashtags followed.
The angelic recipient of this encomium is, of course, the rapper Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, who is currently an all-expenses-paid guest of US federal detention, having been deemed a ‘serious flight risk’ ahead of a trial in which he will face charges of racketeering and sex trafficking. He is alleged to have relied on drugs and violence to force women ‘to fulfil his sexual desires’.
Mr Combs, 54, has pleaded not guilty to all charges and we must let justice run its course.
But his fall from grace highlights the perils of vacuous celebrity ‘friendships’ based on little more than mutual fame.
Daniel’s last hurrah
Daniel Ricciardo’s vast army of fans would be well-advised to tune in this weekend.
It may be the 35-year-old’s last hurrah, if the jungle drums tell the story right. His RB team’s official line is: no decision until after the race. It sounds ominous.
Singapore could prove to be Daniel Ricciardo’s last hurrah, amid rumours – there will be no decision until after the race, however
The identity of the KC who undertook the investigation around allegations surrounding Christian Horner (pictured) is yet to be identified
Who was it?
A mere 205 days after Christian Horner was cleared of inappropriate conduct towards a female employee, we still await the identity of the KC who undertook the internal investigation.
My offer of a bottle of champagne in exchange for their name stands.